Reflections from the Mission Field: Jules on Trusting God and Loving Yourself as He Loves You

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 Hey friends!! Today's reflection from the mission field comes to you from a young lady named Jules! 

Hope you enjoy!! 

See you in the Eucharist, 

May 


Everyday we are given a lesson or a message from God and I was given an example of this last weekend. To summarize, a good friend of mine went through a break up and is struggling with not only accepting, but also processing, a feat which is not easy at all. Everyday, we are told that we should trust in the Lord and His plan for us. However, it is only when we are put into a situation where we are forced to really think about trust. When giving advice to anyone about a relationship, there are two things that I always ask which I consider fundamental to any relationship: “Is there a solid foundation of trust and is there certainty?” Trust is a must, without trust, it is impossible to even be certain. Certainty comes from trust. Without either, a relationship falls apart. It is impossible for a relationship, whether that be romantic, a friendship or even a relationship with yourself to work. 
A question I have gotten frequently is, “how do I learn to live without him/her?” to which I answer with the same advice. You have to learn to love yourself. You need to date yourself. We are created in the image and likeness of God. We have a very special and unique relationship with God because of this. To date yourself, you have to really learn how to love yourself as an individual, as a person and as the person that God created you to be. 
Several years ago, I went through a very hard falling out with a guy. For two years, I was so certain that he was the one and that we’d make it. To put it simply, we lacked trust and certainty: trust lacked on my side and certainty on his side and because of this, the relationship fell apart, a reality that I wish I had seen sooner. However, I realize that I am so grateful I am for being forced into acknowledging that I didn't love myself. 
This friend that is going through a breakup is going through that exact problem. The lack of loving yourself and allowing yourself to “date” yourself is getting in the way of her completely putting her faith and trust into His plan for her. To date yourself is to really learn how to love yourself as a child of God and with time, one can learn that by loving yourself, you can learn to trust that God really does know what He’s doing. He does not always give a straight answer and He might not ever. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Let me repeat that: there is nothing wrong with not receiving a straight answer from God. 
No matter how certain we think we are, sometimes we need to take a step back and ask ourselves whether we’re really seeing the full picture. Are we only seeing what we want to see or are we actually reflecting on what God wants us to see? Sometimes, we get so caught up in what we want to see because we are so desperately looking for something that can’t be given to us in a person. Dating is not always the answer to everything and it should not be. Just because we feel lonely should never be the reason why we date. And maybe that loneliness is God’s way of saying, “you need to learn to love yourself so you can love me with that fierce passion that I know is inside you.” To date yourself is to realize the love that God has for you and the true worth of yourself, which is so much more than you being desperate for a relationship to work even though it’s so clearly falling apart. When we learn to love ourselves, we also begin to realize just a fraction of our worth and the love God holds for us.

Your Sister in Christ, 

Jules 


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